It always amazes me how quitting work can have such a tremendous influence on mood. Obviously, I’m talking about my own case, where I have a financial cushion under my ass and don’t have to worry about the monetary side of being unemployed. Without that, I think I’d just be switching from one anxiety to another. But yeah, we can put those thoughts aside—that’s not what I want to talk about.
Just a week after being laid off, I feel like a completely different person. I’m at peace with myself. For months, it felt like something was missing, or rather, like I lacked a crucial ingredient to feel whole. I assumed the issue was work itself—that the cognitive overload I was under was the main reason for my dissatisfaction with life. But I didn’t think the core problem was the 40 hours a week spent on intense coding. Instead, I believed it was my lack of engagement in creative activities. I craved working on my own projects after hours, but I kept failing, choosing leisure instead.
And here I am. Seven days have passed, and I still haven’t touched a single one of the many projects I always desperately wanted to invest my time in. And yet, it doesn’t affect my mood whatsoever. I’m spending my days in nature, working out, singing and dancing, or just keeping myself occupied with interesting articles, books, or TV shows. And I feel so goddamn happy!
It turns out ambition was never the issue. Neither was my lack of engagement with my personal goals. I just needed a lot of me-time. Don’t get me wrong—there were plenty of moments when my career brought me happiness. But working for someone else never gave me true flexibility. Sure, I could take time off or shift my priorities when needed, but it’s not the same as having complete freedom over my time. And damn, this shit is addicting. I was scared of what reality would look like after becoming unemployed, but that fear is gone.
It’s nice to be in this position. Life couldn’t feel more complete than it does right now.