I’ve always dreamt of a career in software development. At first, for the wrong reasons. After high school, coming from a really dark place, what pushed me into coding was the idea of a job where you don’t interact with others too much, but the salary is incomparably higher than in other professions. Oh boy, I was so wrong.
After a year of intense self-learning, I was given a chance to prove myself in a small software house. Not only did I have to cooperate on a daily basis with other professionals, but my salary was minimum wage - basically placing me below a market cashier on the financial-success ladder.
This experience gave me an opportunity to rethink my life goals. I sat down and asked myself whether the reasons I started coding still resonated with me. I quickly learned that they didn’t. For years, I had told myself that I was an introvert who just wanted to get rich. I no longer found that true. But if my idea of myself was no longer valid, then… who am I?
I started to dig deep into myself. I didn’t want to drift aimlessly through life. I wanted answers. I wanted them right away, so I wouldn’t waste any more time on ideas that weren’t aligned with my inner self. And conclusions came quickly - it wasn’t as if the truth about me was buried that deep.
I am a stoic, a talented web developer who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. Full of love, passion, and empathy. I learn, I improve, and I never hold back.
It’s easier said than done. But nonetheless, the goal was clear: either I become the person I’ve described, or I die trying. There’s nothing in between.
Fast forward to the present day. I’m not only the person I wanted to be, but much more. The career success and personal growth I’ve achieved were unimaginable back then. With sheer will and plenty of luck, I beat my personal scoreboard. I’ve won. Hurray, me!
Of course, there’s no such thing as “winning” in life. Or rather, the concept is fluid, flexible, and everyone has their own definition of it. A few years ago, being a talented stoic software engineer would have put me in first place on my personal scoreboard. But since reaching that peak, the scoreboard has morphed into something different. Once again, I find myself asking: where do I go next? How do I get back onto the pedestal?
The burning monk
There’s this man called Thích Quảng Đức - you might know him as the Burning Monk. A photo of him burning alive has, haha, really burned itself into my memory. I’m still trying to figure out how to climb my own success ladder. But I find being unmoved by the fire consuming your body incredibly badass, and that’s what I currently strive for: to not be shaken by outside circumstances. To have patience with myself and others. To have the courage to stand up for what I believe in. I want to be someone who can withstand the worst, who doesn’t ruminate over the past or future, who can live in the moment, and who appreciates without judging.
Is changing yourself harder than climbing the career ladder? Probably. But my fundamentals are strong, the soil is fertile, and I tend to keep the uptrend after breaking through resistance. I’m excited to see what the future holds. I’ve never been so upbeat about life, and I believe this is just the beginning. Cheers!